


Gloomy Portents

by orphan_account



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is Azirith, Crowley is Corviel, How Do I Tag, M/M, No Beta, do not copy to another site, from my AU on tumblr, idiots to lovers, reverse au, they're both awful at thier jobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 07:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20617169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is a story of an angel, a demon, and a missing Antichrist. The same old story, really. Except they're not quite in the right place.They didn't meet in a garden. It makes no difference.It makes all the difference in the world.





	Gloomy Portents

**Author's Note:**

> so here's my Reverse!AU

They never met in a Garden, in the beginning. That’s how the myths will tell it, later; but there’s only the two of them and the gates[1]. It was a horrible day, and the earth stank of smoke and rotting things.

The Lesser Principality Corviel, Angel of the Skies, was hopping from foot to foot, his cloudy blue robes fluttering around him as he moved, a crown perched precariously on top of flaming curls cropped short, a heavy, bejeweled sceptre in one hand; and he was muttering curses under his breath. Sulphur and brimstone stung his bare feet, and it would be nearly a century until shoes would be invented.

Behind him, half-a-dozen lost souls trailed like ducklings, and he was beginning to worry that they had imprinted on him.

He ran an anxious hand through his hair, muttering hurried blessings under his breath as the group approached the Gates of Hell. Faking confidence with a too-sharp grin, Corviel turned to face them, all six looking pale and worn and terrified.

“Right.” He said, rubbing his hands together. “We’ll be up in the sun soon. We’re nearly out. Fear Not, and all that.”

The lost souls said nothing, huddling closer together, and the angel continued to lead them towards the gates, blistered ground cracking and steaming beneath his feet. He was wincing with every step, but eventually he could see light ahead.

The only problem was the demon who guarded the gate. His face was cast in shadow, as he leaned against an iron pillar with something that was half grace and half discomfort. He raised his hand, but with the sun at his back, it was impossible to tell whether it was in greeting or threat.

Corviel simply put his head down and strode onward, shepherding the lost souls in front of him, wings of sunset bristling, and the small group shuffled into the sunlight, blinking and wincing at the sting. He hissed out a breath in relief and pain, not quite adjusting to the brightness as his six wards dispersed.

“Halt! Angel!”

The angel turned. “What, demon?” he huffed, and the demon, whose name was Azirith, slunk around his pillar to stand in front of him. His features were visible now; he had fluffy, ashy blonde hair tabby-streaked with brown and greyish-blue, and mismatched eyes with pupils like a cat’s.

“I’m just here to do my job, you understand.” Said Azirith, still looking smarmily confident. “So I suppose I should ask you what the – er, what the Hell exactly were you doing here?”

Corviel straightened. “Why’d you want to know?”

“For the paperwork, you see. It’s awful, the paperwork. Satan himself invented it. I don’t intend to stop you, but this will have to go on record.”

“Ah. I see.” Said Corviel, not really understanding it at all. He nodded, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. “Lost soul removal.” He said. “Innocents. They don’t belong here, so I had to get them out.”

“Understandable, er-“ the demon turned to his companion.

“Corviel.”

“Corviel. That’s perfectly reasonable.”

“I thought so.” The angel hummed. “But the Head Office were pretty against it. So- er-“ he shuffled, uncomfortable. “If you see Gabriel or Uriel around, could you just… not make them aware of this?”

The demon grinned. “A chance to undermine the forces of righteousness? Of course. Consider it a secret.” He said, but then his face fell into an expression somewhere between pride and anxiety. “Look at you. An angel, disobeying. You could fall for that, you know.” He tutted.

“Look.” Corviel looked distinctly uncomfortable, and he’d gone pale. “As far as I know, I’m doing what the Almighty wants. She’s not a fan of suffering.”

Azirith patted him on the shoulder. “You should be fine. You’re _good_.”

“Says the demon.” Said Corviel, scowling.

“Of course you are, you’re an angel.”

A blush crept across the redhead’s cheeks, and the skies overhead turned grey. Rain began to fall in heavy drops, and Azarith hissed as a raindrop landed in his eye. Without a thought, Corviel’s wings unfurled and covered the two of them. The demon shuffled closer.

“It’s not all that interesting, you know. Being a demon. Guard duty is positively mind-numbing.”

“Hum?”

“I mean, they tell you, ‘_Get up there, wave a frozen sword about, keep people out’_. But there aren’t any people.” Azirith gestured to the column, where a blade about a metre long lay, made of obsidian and covered in ice from the depths of Abaddon.

“And you get hungry fairly quickly. If it’s anything to you,” He murmured, somewhat conspiratorially, “I’d much rather be up on Earth.”

There was a tense silence. Corviel hummed under his breath, a melody that would eventually become known as _Bohemian Rhapsody_.

“You’re an odd demon.” He said. “Letting an angel pass freely. ‘S odd.”

“Says the angel who rescued six of the damned from the pit and then decided to act as an umbrella for a demon.” Azirith quipped. Corviel gave him a tentative grin.

“What the sodding Heaven is an umbrella?”

“I have no clue.”

And the angel and the demon left the gates of Hell and headed East. The sun was rising, glowing past the rainclouds and sparking light off the damp desert all around.

It was going to be a glorious day.

* * *

[1] Maybe it would be prudent to mention that the gates in question were the Gates of Hell.


End file.
